Saturday, June 5, 2010

Face to Face with God - Letting God love us (John the Apostle)

Before I share on this, I just want to share the testimony of a dear brother in our life group who is really on fire for God. Not only does he take time to travel all the way to Gohtong Jaya on Wed to hold a Bible study for a small group of Chinese speaking believers, he will also visit the sick and the needy in the hospital. Last Friday, during our life group (Tim and I run a small life group called Canaanland life group in our church), he shared that he ministered to an elderly man in the hospital. Apparently the old man complained that no one visited him, so our Bro. Francis decided to visit him and even bought him food upon request such as bak kut teh. The old man was very touched by this gesture and accepted Christ. During the last visit, Bro. Francis was surprised to learn that the old man had died....thank God for leading our dear brother to witness to elderly gentleman before he died.

What an encouraging testimony! Through this I am reminded that I too must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit to allow Him to lead me to share the gospel whenever the opportunity arise as it could determine the destiny of the person concerned.

Well, I have been waiting the whole week upon the Lord on this topic of letting God love us. To let God love us and to love God is like two sides of a coin. Sometimes its not easy to love God especially when we may feel that God is far far away or that He has rejected us because of a sin/wrong thought/past mistakes. Many times in my own spiritual walk I had felt as though God had deserted me or that He did not want to fellowship with me anymore. These are times when I had to just sit in His presence and call out to Him from my innermost being for a touch from Him to revive me.

During those times, I had to practice 'full and frank disclosure' of my spiritual condition with Him. In the bank, where I work 'full and frank disclosure' is a popular management phrase meaning that even if it may cost us our increment/bonus or our popularity, we had to be 'brutally frank' with our management concerning the problems we face at work (part of my job is to handle legal cases against the bank). I had to assess the legal position of the bank and advice management whether it is worthwhile to fight out the case or to hand out the olive branch to the opposing side.

John was one disciple who knew how to let Jesus loved Him. In fact he called himself "the disciple Jesus loved". If anyone knew how to let God loved Him, it was John. He was sensitive to Jesus's words and actions. The Bible tells us in John 13:23that he leaned on Jesus' bosom during the last supper. In terms of posture and position, he was close to the Lord. In fact he was so close to the Lord that I believe he knew who the betrayer would be. When Peter asked John to ask Jesus who he was talking about, Jesus named Judas to John in a soft voice meant for his ears only. John knew the Lord's destiny, that he had to go to the Cross....

At the Cross, John stood with Mary and Jesus seeing "the disciple whom He loved standing by" said to him "Behold your mother" and to Mary, Jesus said concerning Joh "Behold your son!"

Jesus knew John fully and loved him fully. John was not a perfect person. Bible tells us that he and James (his brother) wanted to call down fire from heaven on a village that had refused to acknowledge Jesus. Not only did he struggled with rashness and impatience, he also had to deal with spiritual pride. He was one of those who asked for a special place in God's kingdom.

To let God love us is to be 'brutally honest' about ourselves with God. It is to tell God the things we see in ourselves that we dislike so much but we seem to have no power over it. It is to give it over to Him to let Him change that weakness into something good. God takes that seemingly weak aspect of our character and moulds it into a character strength that He can use for His glory.

Truly being loved is the greatest motivation of all. How do I let God love me deeply? I have to take time to savour that love, to hear His voice and to read His word. I have to take time to lean on His bosom like Apostle John, I have to slow down to search myself and to confess to Him the weaknesses of my character and to allow the searchlight of His word and Spirit to expose the pride, anger and fleshly attitudes that I carry around with me.....(more later)

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