Unforgiveness - what to do

Prov 19:11 "Sensible people control their temper, they earn respect by overlooking wrongs"

Wow...isn't the Bible practical? Its the best psychology manual ever! In other words we should not react by getting angry. We should wait for the anger to settle down first otherwise we will end up making decisions which we will regret later. Very often I will get upset with my boss for hurting me with her words (this was in the beginning of my first few years working with her). I felt like throwing in my resignation letter after some very particularly hurtful episodes. Thank God I did not react or else a lot of my loved ones will be left without their monthly "income"!

I know of friends who felt like divorcing their husbands after a quarrel. Thank God they did not follow through the same but took time to pray and think things over.

We bring glory to our heavenly Father whenever we overlook hurts and forgive the sins done to us. To do so builds our character. When we forgive others, God forgives us and them too! God will bring us into a revelation of favor and blessing we have never known before! Indeed after forgiving my boss and eating the humble pie, our relationship is really good! Last year, the Lord blessed me with 6 months bonus...the highest ever!

Eph 4:26-27 "Don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil"

If we do get angry deal with it quickly. Allowing it to simmer and to carry on and on and fester in our hearts will give room to the enemy to attack us!

Here are the practical things to do when faced with anger and unforgiveness (they seem to be twins):

1. bless the people who have hurt us. Really shower them with blessings.
2. pray for them. Ask God to bless them and to show them favor in every way.
3. do good to them. Find opportunities to do good to them. Rom 12: 20-21 "If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing so, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads. Don't let evil conquer you but conquer evil by doing good"

I really believe that this applies to governments as well. If we feel that our government has ill-treated us and hurt us, perhaps its time to change our approach. Instead of cursing them, why not start to bless them and pray for them? Remember how a local church forgave those who tried to burn down their church recently...God blessed the church so much after that. Even the government gave them money to compensate them for the loss. VIPs visited their church and the word of God was preached. It turned out that they had been waiting for approval for their new building for some time. After the incident, the authorities quickly approved the application and they were able to move into their new premises!

FORGIVENESS LEADS US INTO THE BLESSING AND FAVOR OF GOD!

Unforgiveness - the consequences

I read this wonderful article on "Forgiveness" by David Wilkerson. It is worth a posting on my blog!

I struggle very much with this issue of forgiveness myself. Usually people who hurt me with their words will be given the "cold treatment" i.e. I will avoid speaking to them until I get over the hurt. I will have to go to God in prayer again and again and ask Him to help me to truly forgive them from my heart. Often I will feel so far away from the Lord...even when the Lord had removed the hurt from my heart, I will still avoid talking to them for fear of being hurt again.

This short article written by David Wilkerson really ministered to me. Perhaps if I put into practice what is taught I will get over the hurt faster and respond differently in future.

Unforgiveness is a spiritual disease. In some cases it translates into physical ailments as well. My Aka in India, Pastor Lata shared about how her mother who was afflicted with cancer got healed after forgiving a relative whom she hated very much. She hated her so much that she told Aka that she would not want them at her funeral! After forgiving this person, her mother felt a release in her spirit and was healed of her cancer!

Paul writes in Rom 12:19 "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the scriptures say, "I will take revenge. I will pay them back" says the Lord".

There are 4 consequences of unforgiveness:

1. We will become guiltier than the person who hurt us.
2. God's mercy and grace towards us will be shut off. Things will begin to go wrong in our lives as we will be walking in disobedience. If we are facing one problem after another, perhaps it is time to search our hearts and ask the Lord to reveal any forgiveness in us.
3. We will be robbed of our peace and joy. The person who hurt us will seem to be the victor succeeding in inflicting in us a permanent wound. We will appear to be vexed and troubled. It would even seem like unforgiveness is tormenting us.
4. We will seem to be inflicted with thoughts of revenge against the person. In this manner, satan will be able to tempt us into deadlier sins and we could be led to commit sins.

How true! I have come across wives who hated their husbands so much that they will want to seek "revenge" by having affairs themselves. An elderly lady wrote about how the Lord brought her to hell where she met a woman who had killed her adulterous husband. Although she was a believer, she ended up in hell! I have come across people who had so much unforgiveness towards someone close to them that they will look for ways to "sabotage" that person!

Unforgiveness doesn't help us in anyway. We will always end up as LOSERS!